Being Hers (Irresistibly Bound Book 1) Read online

“Yes.”

  “The most important part of all of this is trust. You, trusting that I will keep you safe. And me trusting you to communicate honestly about your limits and what you’re thinking and feeling. Do you promise to do that for me?”

  “Yes, Vanessa.”

  “Good. Trust me. Listen to everything I say. And know that I’ll be right there by your side the entire time.”

  Mel nodded. Vanessa unlocked the door, and they entered The Scarlet Room.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Welcome to The Scarlet Room,” Vanessa said.

  Mel looked around. The room resembled a Victorian parlor, complete with red vintage wallpaper and ornate furniture, but with the inclusion of a large four-poster bed. What was on the walls told a different story. The shelves, hooks and cabinets, all held a vast array of BDSM equipment.

  What interested Mel the most was a rack on the far wall. It was a cornucopia of whips, including a long, thin riding crop. Unlike the others, the crop had a crimson handle. It was the same one that had hung from Vanessa’s bed at The Lounge and had haunted Mel since the day she stepped into that room.

  “See something you like?” Vanessa asked.

  Mel stared at the rack. “Are you going to use one of these on me?”

  “Do you want me to?”

  Mel nodded, her pulse quickening.

  Vanessa sidled up behind her and draped her arms around Mel’s shoulders. “Say it. Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you.”

  “Please, Vanessa. I want you to use the riding crop on me.”

  “Okay. But I plan to do far more with you than that.” Vanessa walked to the center of the room and beckoned Mel with a finger. “Come here.”

  Mel followed, hypnotized by Vanessa’s voice. Vanessa took Mel’s hands and brought her wrists together. Out of nowhere, Vanessa produced a short chain and clipped the cuffs to each other.

  “Raise your arms above your head,” Vanessa said.

  Mel looked up as she lifted her arms. She was right underneath an elaborate iron chandelier. A long piece of rope dangled from the center of it. Sure enough, Vanessa reached up and tied the rope to the chain at Mel’s wrists, leaving her strung up with her arms stretched almost to their limits. Her feet were flat on the floor, but every muscle in her body was taut.

  Vanessa cupped Mel’s face in her hands. “How do you feel?”

  “Fine,” Mel remembered Vanessa’s words about honesty. “A little anxious. But not in a bad way.”

  Vanessa kissed Mel gently on the lips. “Trust me.”

  Vanessa disappeared somewhere behind her. Mel heard the rustle of fabric and turned her head. Vanessa had slipped out of her dress, revealing a lacy black bra and matching panties. Her lace-topped thigh-high stockings were held up by a garter belt. Just the sight of her made Mel ache.

  “Eyes forward. Unless you want me to blindfold you?”

  “No, Vanessa.” Mel snapped her head back around. There was a challenge in Vanessa’s voice that Mel didn’t dare to test.

  “Stay perfectly still.”

  Mel heard the click of Vanessa’s heels on the floor behind her. When Vanessa came back into view, she had the riding crop in her hand. But instead of coming back to Mel, Vanessa went to sit on the end of the bed.

  She leaned back and crossed her legs, admiring her handiwork. “You look delectable tied up and waiting for me like that.”

  Mel tested her restraints. They held fast. And the sturdy chandelier didn’t move at all.

  Vanessa smiled. “You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.” Mel could feel the blood rushing through her veins.

  “Yes? Just ‘yes?’”

  “Yes, Vanessa.”

  “That’s better.” Finally, Vanessa stood up. She circled around Mel, trailing her fingers across the back of Mel’s thighs.

  Mel felt like an insect caught in Vanessa’s web. Only she wanted to be eaten.

  Vanessa tapped the tip of the crop against her palm. “Do you know why so many people find the combination of pain and pleasure so irresistible?”

  “No, Vanessa.”

  “It’s because pain is a stimulant. Just like a drug, it puts your nervous system on high alert, and makes your body hypersensitive in the best possible way.”

  Something smooth brushed against the back of Mel’s neck. She froze. Was it the tip of the riding crop? What was her safe word again? Violet? Velvet. Mel was nowhere near the point of using it. But she found it reassuring all the same.

  “Relax,” Vanessa said softly.

  Mel breathed the tension out of her body. Slowly, Vanessa snaked the riding crop across Mel’s back, lower and lower, all the way down to where Mel’s thighs met. Mel inhaled sharply as heat spread through her body. The mixture of anticipation and arousal was a heady cocktail.

  Vanessa pulled the riding crop away. Mel squeezed her eyes shut, listening for what was to come. She felt like she was at the top of a rollercoaster, waiting for the inevitable drop.

  But instead of a forceful strike, Mel felt a firm tap on her ass. The impact made her jump up onto her toes. But it didn’t hurt. Vanessa continued, tapping out a series of short, sharp swats with the tip of the riding crop that left a pleasant tingling behind. Murmurs fell from Mel’s lips. Slowly, Vanessa increased the intensity. Slowly, Mel’s cheeks began to burn. But it only added to the heat between her legs.

  Vanessa pressed her body up against Mel’s and ran her hands over Mel’s stinging cheeks. “That feeling? That rush? It’s your body reacting to the perceived danger. Every stroke brings you closer and closer to an elevated state of awareness.” She leaned in and whispered into Mel’s ear. “And tonight, I’m going to take you all the way there.”

  Mel heard the whoosh of the riding crop through the air, then felt the sting of the whip on her ass cheek. She hissed. That was more than a firm tap. Mel reflexively tried to bring her hands down to protect herself, but they were bound above her head. Vanessa snapped the crop against Mel’s other cheek. Her skin stung. But it wasn’t a bad kind of pain. It was the kind caused her nipples to peak and set her body alight.

  “Your skin looks so lovely striped in pink.” Vanessa trailed the supple tip of the riding crop over Mel’s ass. “How are you doing, Melanie?”

  “I’m good,” Mel said. “I’m better than good.”

  Vanessa continued, alternating between gentle brushes of the riding crop and short, sharp stings, gently caressing Mel’s body in between. When every inch of her cheeks had been marked by the whip, Vanessa moved on to the back of Mel’s thighs. More than once, the crop hit dangerously close to her most sensitive parts.

  It was all so delicious. The piercing kiss of the crop. The thrill of not knowing when the whip would fall. The adrenaline coursing through her body. The experience threatened to overwhelm her.

  “Do you want more?” Vanessa asked.

  “Mmmm.” Mel’s whole body was alive with energy. “Yes, Vanessa.”

  “Ask nicely.”

  “Please, Vanessa. Can I have more?”

  “Yes, my pet.” Vanessa tipped Mel’s chin up with her fingers and kissed her softly. “Don’t fight it. Embrace it.”

  Mel did as Vanessa instructed. She closed her eyes and let everything else fade away. And slowly, she slipped into a state of bliss. She lost track of time. She lost track of everything around her. All that Mel was aware of was her own body, and Vanessa’s presence, and the pure, concentrated pleasure that Vanessa was giving her.

  The whip disappeared and was replaced by the press of Vanessa’s hands. They felt cool against her burning skin. “Do you feel that? The pain has heightened your senses.” Vanessa slid a hand up underneath Mel’s bra and caressed her breasts. “Every nerve in your body is awake. Every sensation is amplified.” She pinched Mel’s nipple firmly.

  The throbbing deep within Mel intensified. Vanessa’s hands roamed her body, teasing, brushing, tickling. Vanessa slid the riding crop between Mel’s legs and fli
cked. Mel gasped. It was like a bolt of lightning shooting straight into her core.

  “I’m impressed,” Vanessa said. “I thought you’d be begging by now.”

  Mel’s only response was a whimper.

  “Do you want me to give you your release?” Vanessa grazed Mel’s inner thighs with her fingertips.

  Mel nodded. Vanessa slipped her fingers into Mel’s panties and between her lips, and strummed her swollen nub, eliciting endless moans from deep within Mel’s chest. After going for so long without an orgasm, it didn’t take long until Mel was close to the edge.

  “Go on,” Vanessa said. “Come for me.”

  Mel convulsed against Vanessa’s body, her lips a wide O. She collapsed in Vanessa’s arms, overcome by the feeling that she had floated out of her body. “Mmmm…”

  Somehow, Mel found herself on the bed, her wrists unbound, Vanessa’s arm slung across her small frame. Her body still tingled like her nerves were alight.

  “Welcome back,” Vanessa said.

  “That was incredible,” Mel murmured. Was this what Vanessa meant when she said she was going to make Mel come apart? Because she had succeeded.

  “That, Melanie, was subspace.” Vanessa rolled over to face Mel. “It’s a natural high, a rush of adrenaline and endorphins triggered by all the sensations that your body was experiencing. At least, that’s the physical side. There’s far more to subspace than that. Or so I’m told.”

  Mel knew exactly what Vanessa was talking about. At that moment when the rest of the world had fallen away was like nothing she’d ever experienced. And the connection she’d felt toward Vanessa had been sublime.

  “How are you feeling now?” Vanessa asked.

  “I’m good. I’m amazing.” Mel reached out toward Vanessa. She was craving the other woman’s touch.

  Vanessa placed her hand on Mel’s side. “Here. Lay on your stomach.”

  Mel rolled over. Vanessa moved in closer, her body pressed against Mel’s side, and ran her hand down to Mel’s cheeks. They were covered in angry, red welts. Vanessa traced gentle lines over them with her fingertips while planting soft kisses on the back of Mel’s shoulder.

  Mel purred. She liked that tender, sweet side of Vanessa. She wondered how often Vanessa let anyone see it. She closed her eyes.

  This was by far the best part of her night.

  Mel and Vanessa sat in silence as Elena drove them back to Mel’s apartment. Slowly, Mel’s high started to fade and exhaustion set in.

  “Are you all right?” Vanessa asked.

  “Yeah. I’m just really tired all of a sudden.”

  Vanessa examined Mel with a frown. “You’re dropping. Come here.” Vanessa pulled Mel into her. “I should have warned you about this too. Subspace can be intense. It isn’t uncommon to feel a drop after coming down from it. A drop in mood, in energy, in everything. It doesn’t always happen. But when it does, it’s my responsibility to look after you. If you start to feel your mood turn, you need to tell me immediately, okay?”

  Mel nodded. The car pulled to a stop outside Mel’s apartment. Vanessa got out of the car and open Mel’s door. As Mel stepped out onto the sidewalk, Vanessa leaned over to say something to Elena through the window. Elena nodded and turned off the car.

  “Come on. Let’s go.” Vanessa gestured toward the door to Mel’s building.

  As soon as they entered her apartment, Mel was seized by a gnawing in her chest. Suddenly, the prospect of being left alone filled her with dread. In minutes she had gone from feeling blissful and content to feeling raw and vulnerable.

  Upon seeing Mel’s face, Vanessa’s expression softened. “It’s hitting you right now, isn’t it?”

  Mel nodded. She felt like her insides were spilling out.

  “You’re okay.” Vanessa gathered Mel in her arms and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “You’ll feel better once you’re in bed.”

  Vanessa tugged off Mel’s coat. Mel collapsed onto the bed and curled up in a ball. Was Vanessa going to leave her now? And why did that suddenly bother her so much?

  Vanessa sat down on the edge of the bed and started typing into her phone. “I’m sending Elena home.”

  Mel watched in surprise as Vanessa kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her dress.

  For the second time that night, Vanessa hopped in the bed beside Mel. “You didn’t think I was going to leave you like this, did you?”

  Mel opened her mouth to reply, but there was a lump in her throat that she couldn’t get words past.

  “Oh, Melanie. I’m not going anywhere.” Vanessa wrapped her arms around Mel’s small frame. “All of these feelings? It’s just subdrop. Okay?”

  Mel nodded.

  “Don’t just nod. Tell me that you understand.”

  “Yes, Vanessa. I understand.” Still, Mel hated herself for turning into such a miserable, needy mess. “I’m sorry, I just…” She trailed off.

  “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s completely normal to feel like this. You made yourself deeply vulnerable to someone else. And now that it’s all over and things are returning to normal, it’s not unusual to feel a sense of emptiness.” Vanessa kissed Mel gently on the lips. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

  “Yes, I do,” Mel murmured. “I’ve always had to be strong. I don’t know how not to be.”

  “It’s simple. All you have to do is close your eyes and let me take some of the weight off your shoulders.” Vanessa pulled Mel in closer. “In fact, I’m ordering you to do that right now.”

  Mel was too tired to do anything but obey. She shut her eyes and put her head on Vanessa’s chest, losing herself in the other woman’s warmth and softness. Her eyelids began to feel heavy. “Thank you for staying with me.”

  “You don’t need to thank me,” Vanessa said quietly. “I would do anything to keep you from hurting.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Mel woke up the next morning wrapped in a cocoon of sheets, the aroma of coffee and cinnamon hanging in the air. Despite her aching muscles, she felt invigorated. She reached her arm out next to her. The other side of the bed was empty. Suppressing her disappointment, Mel rolled over and picked up her phone up from the nightstand. There was a message from Vanessa.

  Had to go. Important meeting. Call me as soon as you wake up. V.

  There was a second message sent ten minutes later.

  Breakfast is on the counter. Eat something.

  Mel sat up groggily and looked across the room to the countertop that functioned as her kitchen. There was a large to-go cup of coffee and a paper bag bearing the logo of the bakery down the road. Vanessa brought her breakfast? Mel backtracked. Vanessa had been here, in Mel’s dingy little apartment? And she had stayed the night in Mel’s bed?

  Mel flopped back down onto her stomach. She twisted her head around to inspect her aching cheeks. Faint bruises were starting to form. The events of last night came flooding back. The car ride. Lilith’s Den. The Scarlet Room. And then, Vanessa holding Mel on the bed as she broke down in Vanessa’s arms.

  Where had all those insecure, needy thoughts and feelings come from? Although Vanessa had said it was normal, Mel couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by her momentary weakness. She felt fine now. Amazing, even. She would do it again in a heartbeat, subdrop and all.

  Mel looked at her phone. Vanessa’s text had been sent less than two hours ago. Would her meeting be over by now? Mel didn’t want to interrupt anything, but Vanessa had made it very clear that Mel should call her immediately. Her bossiness should have bothered Mel. It definitely would have, coming from anyone else.

  Mel sat up and dialed Vanessa’s number.

  Vanessa picked up the phone within two rings. “Give me a moment.”

  Mel heard voices in the background, then the sound of a door closing.

  “Melanie. How are you feeling?” Vanessa asked.

  “Fine. Is your meeting over?”

  “No. Bu
t it’s nothing that can’t wait five minutes.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Mel said.

  “Don’t be. I wouldn’t have told you to call me if I didn’t mean it. Now, how do you feel? Honestly?”

  “Fine. Really. Although I am a bit sore.”

  Vanessa chuckled softly. It was the first time Mel had heard her laugh. “Well, that’s to be expected. How’s your mood?”

  “Good. I feel great, actually.”

  “No more subdrop? Sometimes it can linger the next day.”

  “Nope. I’m back to normal.”

  “I’m glad.” She paused. “I didn’t want to leave you alone after last night, but I couldn’t get out of this meeting.”

  “It’s okay. I’m fine. Really.”

  “Have you eaten anything?”

  “Not yet, I just woke up.”

  “As soon as you hang up, I want you to have breakfast. And drink plenty of water. Your body needs to replenish itself after last night.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Mel hung up the phone. The warm, affectionate Vanessa of last night was gone. But she wasn’t back to being cool and inscrutable. It was something in between. It made Mel wonder—how much of Vanessa’s hard, emotionless persona was an act, and how much of it was actually her?

  Mel hopped out of bed and examined Vanessa’s breakfast offerings. She didn’t know why she was trying to figure Vanessa out. Things between them were supposed to be purely physical. But Mel was beginning to realize that what she and Vanessa were doing together required a level of intimacy that she hadn’t anticipated. She remembered Vanessa’s words about trust. If life had taught Mel anything, it was that the only person she could rely on was herself.

  Mel sighed. Things were starting to spin out of control. If she wasn’t careful, it would be too easy for her to lose herself in both Vanessa and BDSM. Because for Mel, the two were inextricably intertwined.

  The days that followed only left Mel feeling even more conflicted.

  “It’s been four days, Jess.” Mel lay on the lawn with her friend, soaking in the sun between classes. “And nothing!”